SOMETHING HAPPENED IN CALGARY!!!
It's a mid-60s, Japanese-made Guyatone strat ripoff in RED AND WHITE. I have had a sunburst one since 2002, and it's the greatest vintage guitar I've ever bought. I wrote and played all my FSH songs on it. The pickups sound nice and tinny, the action is great, and it's easy to shred on the tiny fretboard.
Five years ago, I missed out on such a guitar, having been outbid by less than $2. This time I will win, no matter what the cost.